reflections on embodiment lately
Prentis Hemphill and others in their lineage talk about embodiment as being both about 1) becoming more aware of the shapes and patterns we are already embodying as the result of our particular histories, and 2) about practicing the new shapes we might take, in order to live out or embody more of what we long to be in the world. I continue finding this to be such a rich time for applying that lens. (If you want to hear more about embodiment in Prentis' own words, check out this recent interview with them or check out Prentis' amazing podcast, Becoming The People)
One of my favorite things about my work (and life!) is the time I spend in groups with which I am in deep embodied practice over time. These communities of practice gather regularly to notice ways our conditioning might be showing up to pull us off center or to drive patterns of domination or dehumanization or disconnection (etc), even without our noticing. We know that, especially in times of stress and crisis, our bodies tend to contract towards their most self-protective states. Even some of those shapes that might appear to be generous and other-centered (think martyrdom, selflessness, hero/savior vibes) are often reflexive, inherited strategies - ultimately ways for our own bodies to find a sense of safety or good-enough or belonging within ourselves in an uncertain time. And when those patterned ways of responding don't honor the dignity of those we are "helping" or have much room for choice or mutuality, sometimes we find ourselves moving outside of our values.
I have come to feel compassion for these conditioned tendencies in myself, and I also grieve the ways in which they can become dehumanizing of myself and others. They surely will not sustain resilient, long-haul solidarity. And so, together we find our way to new shapes that express our values more fully - and as we practice those shapes, we find ourselves feeling more alive, connected, choice-full and within our integrity. What a gift!
Embodied practice helps me get intimate and acquainted with my own default patterns, noticing them more quickly when they pull me off center, and helping me find my way back when they do. Now, my body knows what it feels like to be rooted in my own dignity, to lean back into the support of something bigger than me, to feel available to connection but without grasping or forcing. And the more I practice feeling those states within me, the more easily I can find my way back to them, even under stress.
What does this look for me like lately?
Before a coaching client arrives in my space, I may notice a part of me that wants to have all the answers. Instead of letting that part lead the session, I might take a moment to orient to the source of whatever care and support I might be able to offer, feeling that love/source/Creator supporting me at my (literal) back, and gradually those striving parts soften and melt away. I'm left more present and more available to whatever wants to happen in that session.
When my work requires me to share vulnerably and publicly on social media, I often notice myself contract at the exposure - feeling the fear of being seen, misunderstood, disliked. And so I pause, taking a moment to tend to those parts of me - offering the support of a hand on my chest, remembering the faces of the folks who are grateful for my work, broadening the "base" of my body and reconnecting with the knowing that I will have the resilience to be with whatever comes. It's not comfortable, but my centered self knows that I can be safe while being seen.
When I check the GoFundMe I've been using to raise funds for neighbors and find that we're far from our May 1st goal, I notice the "it's all on me" and "I have to fix this/figure this out" parts of me activate, contracting my chest and shoulders, narrowing my gaze and speeding up my heart rate and my strategy brain. I take a moment to be with those overextending and self-centered parts of me, showing them compassion, and then I turn my attention towards the vast web and flow of connection and solidarity of which I'm just a tiny little part. I feel my gaze widen, I settle back into a trust that what I have is enough and feel my curiosity come back online about who else might be part of the solution this month!
I am continually grateful for the gift of these micro practices, and love any chance that I get to practice them with you.
